It is not up to you to say where others have to be as it is not up to others to say where you need to be.
It is not up to me to say where you should be.
It is not up to me to say who you can be.
It is not up to me to try to control your world, even for a second.
How can one understand that no one belongs to anyone else besides himself when we live in such a conditioned world, even in relationships.
I grew up believing that the right thing to do is to love a person and therefore make a commitment to love that same person “for the rest of your life.”
You assume with this person a role of respect and loyalty in how you will not look, touch, desire or love another as if you could control your emotions, choose your thoughts and your external world.
What I mean by this is …
When we are in a love relationship, we want promises that everything will be for all eternity.
We want to know that that person will never leave us.
We want to know that that person will never stop loving us.
We want to know that we are the entire world of that person because that same person ends up becoming our entire world.
Today’s relationships are based on attachment and not on love.
When you want/demand that the other person has to feel in a certain way about you, because otherwise, nothing makes sense … It stops being love thus becoming an attachment.
The truth is that it ceases to be love when it becomes demanded or it is seen as an obligation.
It ceases to be love when it has to be restricted and limited.
What I mean by this is…
Love does not have to be an obligation. Love has to flow freely.
If it is love, you do not have to demand, ask, let alone beg. It will be there and it will be felt in every word and deed.
Love does not have to have limits or barriers. Love has to be abundant.
And please, keep in mind, there is a difference between love and respect and loyalty.
Love is when you love who they are, the way they are and the way they want to be.
While respect and loyalty mean having the good sense when it comes to respecting your values and those of others and be loyal to the promises you make those you love.
But love … love must be shared and expressed and not directed and controlled.
Love is when you love to see that person happy, complete, in harmony with life and If their soul wants something that is separate from you or that you can not give them, your love should be large and big enough to give them immediate passage.
Love is wanting to spend every moment with this person knowing that at any time you and they, are free to leave without any punishment, especially on an emotional level.
Love is having a glimpse of the world around you, and in spite of seeing everything that feeds your eyes around you, you will know exactly what is feeding your soul.
Love cannot be imposed, love has to be given and without any squeezing.
Love is not wanting this person to stay with you for the rest of your and their life. Love is knowing that that person already has a place in your heart regardless of whether they leave physically or not.
But love is not just wanting all this for that person.
Love is wanting it all for others and for yourself.
Love it is also YOU being happy, complete and in harmony with life, because, in being in harmony with life, you are in harmony with yourself and with everything and everyone around you.
To be happy, you have to value yourself
To the point of knowing that you are totally irreplaceable; to the point that you know that you are imperfectly perfect with all your qualities and all your faults.
And when I say faults, I am referring to your shadow. I am not referring only to stubbornness or acute laziness; I am referring to how needy you are, how sensitive you are, how selfish you can be, how irresponsible you are sometimes, how closed mind you are, how cold and distant you can be, the fact that you can not express how you feel or say your truth, or the fact that you literally have your heart in your mouth and you can not have any filter with words; the fact that you can not control your anxiety and emotions that make you react impulsively, the fact that you distrust everything and everyone, the fact that you are afraid of being abandoned, betrayed and left behind… these and many more facts and details that make you SO YOU.
Whatever makes you, YOU, you have to recognize it, love it, respect it, and nurture it with compassion, understanding, and courage to know how to evolve and learn every day.
In order for you to feel complete, you have to clarify your desires, to fight for your dreams, but above all, you have to be grateful for everything you have, from the smallest to the biggest detail of all.
In order for you to feel in harmony, you must know who you are, know your purpose and above all, you have to see this world through the eyes of love.
When you are able to have in you all the self-love you deserve, you will have all that love returned to you by the universe.
And the most important of all is…
When you learn to love yourself without filters, without masks, and allow yourself to love yourself completely naked of body and soul… You will understand that regardless of who stays and who goes, your happiness will never be questioned because you are more than enough and all your fears of losing those to whom you have an attachment, will be replaced by the abundant love that you have within you, and then, trust me, you will be unshakable.
So, my love, do not be afraid to lose your love. Be afraid to never find your love for you.